All I can think of when I see this clip
This is why we need selflessness in sex and its supplementary extremes of chastity, celibacy and virginity. Most people have sex because they long for intimacy and to be loved, though they sometimes confuse that with lustful attraction. If they simply look to each other to fulfill a fantasy, then they are not really loving each other at all but simply seeking to possess the other entirely for themselves - unless the fantasy be mutual. As a result of the selfish neediness of lustful fantasies, people project all sorts of strange and controlling attitudes onto others in a sexual relationship of sorts lived out on people beyond the sexual act. Contrary to Zizek, the only way to sustain the "spark" of sexual relationship is not through artificially feeding into the sexual fantasies people create to escape reality, but rather to accept the bleak reality and to give selflessly. There is no reason why sexual activity should lead to irrational behavior, lust or manipulativeness. Those are just projections of extreme selfishness. Rather, a God-given and natural aim of sex seems to be to sustain actual relationships through self-less giving, in desiring both the emotional and physical well-being of the other in addition to arousal and pleasure. Fantasy, jealousies, control and fetishes should only exist as products FOR selfless sex rather than be the defining characteristics of all sexual activity in general.If selflessness exists in sex then it is much easier to understand the motivations of chastity. In order to accomodate the needs of other and truly "love" him or her, sometimes it is necessary to "give" to the other beyond sexual pleasure and to care for the emotions and feelings of others as people. If couples who have sex can see the need to be chaste and selfless in sex in order to make relationships more meaningful, then it is easier to value the sacrifices of people who foregoe sexual relationships altogether such as virgins and vowed celibates in order to serve others, though lust and self-concern can cause the same kind of projections onto relationships, if not more so due because of the day to day struggles of total committment to chasity or celibacy.
Post a Comment