Wednesday, August 11, 2010


Reditus has drawn my attention to this new blog The Catholic Fascist which is a satire of the Right Wing Republican Catholic blogosphere.

I don't know, in turn, how far to the Left they are personally (the article satirizing the critique of altar girls suggests they are fine with them; I'm really not)...but at least people are starting to stand up against the crazy "conservative" American Catholic world with all its xenophobia, capitalism, nationalism, authoritarianism, and militarism; not to mention the obvious deep-seated insecurity about masculinity resulting in sometimes blatant compensatory chauvinism, homophobia, misogyny, etc., masquerading as the Gospel.

Some of this stuff
is just brilliant. Here is their blog description:

Chris Hedges has it right: Christian fascists are growing stronger. But, sadly, not strong enough among our Roman Catholic brethren. Despite some valiant attempts, like our friends at The American Catholic, the Roman Catholic blogosphere remains insufficiently committed to the task of whiteness witness called for during the Second Vatican Council and the duty of spreading American ideals of freedom, capitalism, and unmatched power. Vatican II got so, so many things wrong. But its statement of the Catholic layman’s duty to fight for Catholic truth in the secular sphere could not be more correct.

And today’s United States of America — overrun as it is with radical feminists, whiny liberals, demasculinized “men,” Middle Eastern terrorists, queer homosexualists, greedy pornographers, burnt out drug addicts, lazy deadbeats, and more — needs Christ’s One True Church more than ever. The Catholic Fascist sees its mission as speaking the One Truth into an ambivalent Roman Catholic blogosphere. Our Holy Father is on a mission to purge the Church of its “filth,” and we aim to proclaim and contribute to this cleansing in a way fitting to Internet-connected lay Catholic men.

A note about the blog’s title. Certain minority factions of the Catholic blogosphere have taken to calling conservative Catholics — that is to say TRUE Catholics — “fascists,” a move that is not merely hateful but ignorant of history. Everyone knows that fascists have historically been liberals. Our blog title is not meant to concede that we are “fascists” in the historical sense but to proudly reclaim the word ironically as we boast of the conservative Gospel of Jesus Christ. If promoting the truth is considered “fascist” by the Catholic Left, so be it. Catholic fascists we are.

And the descriptions of the contributors are priceless:

Richard Hedges is a veteran, a retired lawyer, and the most faithful, orthodox Catholic you will ever meet. He attends the 6:05 AM Traditional Latin Mass each Sunday at St. Barbara Catholic Shrine at Fort Archer Air Force Base. He is also the founder of The Catholic Fascist and a future contributor to Inside Catholic.

Dave Lister is author of the book The Wave of the Future. Get your copy today.

Joe Pantsonfire is a young orthodox Catholic from the western United States. He is burning with the Holy Spirit and with righeous anger against those enemies of the Church, especially inside the Church, who want sociopathic Mexicans to over-run our beautitful God-given birthright, and want to take away our guns – our only defense against these and other threatening sociopaths. He is on a mission to purge the Church from error – liberalism, socialism, Europeanism, and pacifism, and other assorted dangers to our precious American way of life.

Dan McLockinload lives in a small town. He was born in 1896, and has seen it all (even though he has never left his small town). He has seen his precious country destroyed by liberals, socialists, and progressives. He believes that the founding fathers were all anonymous Catholics, and that the American revolution was guided by Catholic beliefs – faith, family, weapons, low taxes, small government, freedom, states rights, a strong military. There is nowhere on earth like the United States, and there never ever will be. The pope knows that. Glory and praise to the American martyrs!

Lady Macbeth was born and raised in Topeka, Kansas, attended Hillsdale College in Michigan, and received her Ph.D in Strategic Leadership from Regent University in Virginia. Possessing the Truth taught by her beloved Catholic Church and the Founding Fathers of her great country, Lady Macbeth wars against liars and falsifiers wherever they may be found, but especially in the blogosphere. She believes ardently in the combined power of Absolute Moral Truth and American Military Might to bring Salvation to deserving peoples around the world. She loaths relativists of all sorts and wimps who decry doing whatever is necessary to bring freedom, safety, and security to the globe. When it comes to defending the Truth, her thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth!

Parker Euton is a 25 year old Catholic convert, community college student, and self-taught theologian. He agrees with most of his blog collaborators, but disagrees that the root cause of decay in America and the Catholic Church is liberalism and socialism. No, it is sodomy. Parker is anxiously awaiting God’s choice for his wife to come along, so if anyone can help God out by offering rosaries for this intention, he would be most grateful. His future wife should know that he is already in possession of a thermometer.

ROFLMAO!!! I think more and more people are getting fed up with that ilk and their claims to monopoly on what it means to be Catholic, especially the bizarre alliance with the Republican Party...


Leah said...

The site is funny, but I was kind of disappointed that it wasn't about real Catholic fascists (i.e., the type who yearns for an Dolfuss-type regime).

cor ad cor loquitur said...

Funny ... and scary. Quite a few of the posts could have been made by various commenters in Fr Z's blog (and some by Fr Z himself). Life imitates art...

Dave Lister said...

Yes, Fr. Z is welcome to join us whenever he wants! We need fighters like him! He loves to visit naval ships. Long live the fighters!

sortacatholic said...

I'm having a blast sockpuppeting on this website. Catholic politico-religious militancy is a blight on this faith. It's also turning well-meaning people with more than two operating neurons away from Catholicism.

Some satirists are _extremely_ accurate in their spoofs.